Excuses, Excuses

Yeah, I know I don't blog much anymore. I'm just too darn busy, and I've made a commitment to not blog at work, so finding time to write is really hard to come by.

I don't make time for social networking. I hardly get my home teaching done every month. I'm lucky to get dishes done for my wife. Even now, I should be getting the kids off the Wii and ready for bed while my loving, sweet, most beautiful woman in the whole world wife is at the gym. I've got a 17 month old on my lap with a cold, and 4 other boys crowded around a 24" LCD watching the oldest play Lego Batman. Good times in the Lynes house.

My extra helpful wife

Being bald isn't so bad. I started to go bald in high school, and by the time I was done with my mission, my hair on top had left for greener pastures (my back). It has the tendency to make me look older than I am. But anyway, who needs hair? It gets in the way.

There are some advantages to being bald, or hair-on-top impaired. You know those hotel samples of shampoo? Those last me about 2 weeks. I could go on a business trip and get enough shampoo to last me a month when I get home. My wife has bought a gallon of shampoo before. That is a lifetime supply for me.

I know it's time for a haircut when I actually have to FIX my hair before I can leave the house. I cut my own hair at home using some clippers that my wife, Sara, got at some beauty supply store or something. I use the 1/4" setting.

Here's where my wife became the extra helpful wife. I asked her very gently if she would be as kind as to trim my neck fur. Even if us guys aren't ashamed of our back hair, we don't want the hair on our heads and the hair on our shoulders and back to be one in the same. We like there to be some separation between the two.

I'm 6'5", and my wife is 5'3", so I had to get down on my knees for her to trim up my neck. She did a wonderful job at making a nice, straight line on my neck. Then she decided to do some serious manscaping. She ran those clippers from my neck, down my back and from side to side. 20 minutes later when she was done, I was 3 pounds lighter and the clippers were hot to the touch.

After I finished washing off the remnant hair in the shower, I was disappointed when I couldn't move the towel on my back at all. Apparently, when you shave a back with hair as thick as mine, it leaves behind velcro in it's place. The towel did not slide or fall off my back. The next day, my shirt wouldn't move. Now I get to look forward to regrowth! My wife suggested that I get it waxed, but I don't think you could pay that little Asian lady in the salon enough money to do that.

Shaving with Joint Compound

In an effort to save money, I got a can of cheapo old man smellin classic Barbasol. My dad used this stuff, and I used to think that his sideburns were white because he got Barbasol shaving cream on them. Nah, he was just old. When you are little, those are the kind of things you think.

The first couple of times I used it, I didn't shake the can. It came out kinda loose and liquididy. So I did the unthinkable. I read the instructions. Isn't is silly to have instructions on a can of shaving cream? Press button, spread on face (or legs if your wife steals your can), shave. Repeat the next day.

In the past, I've never really shook the can of shaving cream when I used it. Either that, or I don't remember doing it. I've always been an Edge man, but when times are tough, everybody has to make sacrifices. Maybe you do have to shake them all. I don't know.

Well, the can says to shake well, so I did. When I pressed the button, it gave me a big glob of "Thick & Rich Shaving Cream." Spreading it on my face reminded me of working on my basement and spreading drywall joint compound on the seams and screw holes. I felt like I was shaving with joint compound. It works pretty well, but my wife doesn't like the scent it leaves behind. Too much like "old man."

quick updates and events

Since I have decided to not blog at work, it leaves me very little time to actually write. I wanted to give a quick update of things:

• St. George Vacation: Last week, we went to St. George, UT for a quick vacation. It was probably the first one we have had as a family. Driving there, my wife was quoted as saying, "We really had a great time. All except the car ride. It was exactly as I remember. Just alot more people in the car than we had. It was a little like hell only louder." Having a vacation always seemed like an excess, or show of wealth. The company I work for owns condos at various locations here in the intermountain west. With housing paid for, all we have to cover is gas, food, and extras. It is the only way we can afford to actually go on vacation. It was a lot of fun and great to get away, even if it was only for 3 days. Before I moved to Utah, I never would have driven 300 miles one way to go on vacation.
• TV Affiliates: I grew up in Charleston, SC. We had our own local TV stations. My wife grew up in Augusta, GA. She had her own local TV stations. Columbia, SC is 100 miles from Charleston, and 60 miles from Augusta. They have their own local TV stations. Out here, St. George does NOT have it's own local TV stations. Cedar City, which is 60 miles north of St. George does not have it's own local TV. How local can Salt Lake City news be to a city that is 300 miles away? That's like Atlanta local stations serving Charlotte. Unheard of back home, but accepted here. I guess the population density is a whole lot lower here than back home. There are miles and miles of open space in between Stansbury and St. George. St. George is actually closer to Vegas than they are to here. In the South, there were tons of little communities everywhere. I imagine most of them started because some pioneer wife back in the 16 to 1800s put her foot down and said, "I am not going a step further!!"
  
• Wife projects: When my wife gets a project in her head, it has to be done right then and there. Come hell or high water, by gosh it's getting done. An example of this would be her recent Twilight obsession reading that started when we went on vacation and didn't end until yesterday (Aug 26, a week later). A previous example was when she wanted the insulation done in the new family room, and required it to be done right then, even though it was a Sunday. But I did it anyway.
• School: Hyrum and Noah went back to school last week. Hyrum is in 3rd grade and Noah started 1st. Daniel starts his pre-school the day after Labor Day, which was the original start of school back in them olden days. Exciting times in the Lynes home.
  
• Looking forward: It should be 75 degrees on Labor Day. I'm looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to my in-laws coming out to visit in October. I've got something special planned for Sara's birthday (November), but it's such a secret right now that I'm not telling or even giving mention of what it could be. I'm also looking forward to developing in .NET again. For the last few months, I've been fixing bugs in C and Java. Our software does some really neat and great things. It helps public safety groups do their jobs.
  
• Keep on rocking: Rest in peace, Leroi Moore. An original founding member and saxophone player of the Dave Matthews Band died last week. Leroi was a vital part of the unique sound of their music. I'm not sure how DMB is going to sound without him.
• Service Project: I wrote about helping with the Church harvest. I thought I was helping to harvest corn, but it turned out to be wheat. I drove a truck from the field to the silos. As I was dumping my load that was piped up into the silo/grain elevator, I noticed a few Mormon crickets that were trying to escape the bin and get out. We still have the cricket problems around here. The difference is, well, let's just say that the Church's wheat is NOT organic. One of those crickets got lucky, escaped, and jumped on my chest. Yes, I screamed like a little girl. I'm glad no one was around...
  

Hurt and offended

I seem to have a way to make my wife hurt and offended. Yesterday it was about the family blog, and today it was because I forgot to do the dishes (which I told her I would do) and take out the trash. I don't really have an excuse, other than I forgot.

I really don't want to upset my wife. She is everything to me. It's just that watching "So You Think You Can Dance?" made me forget to do what I told her I would do.

She'll probably get upset when she finds out that I had an excellent lunch, paid for by the company, at Applebees. She doesn't get paid lunches. She's lucky to get to eat her lunch without having to share.